Abusers use a wide spectrum of behaviors to control their victims.  The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) lists numerous “red flags” that indicate a partner might also be a batterer.  These are domestic violence warning signs and should not be ignored:

  • Wants to move too quickly into a relationship
  • Flatters you constantly early in the relationship and seems “too good to be true”
  • Wants you all to himself and insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family
  • Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school or quit your job
  • Does not honor your boundaries
  • Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful
  • Wants to know where you are all the time and frequently calls, emails and texts you throughout the day
  • Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, fat or unattractive; says no one else would ever want you or love you
  • Takes no responsibility for his behavior and blames others
  • Has a history of abusing others
  • Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on his former partner; for example, “My ex was totally crazy.”
  • Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt
  • Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others