COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

While every abusive relationship is unique, individuals who abuse their partners often share similar patterns of behavior. Recognizing these common traits can help survivors and communities better understand how abuse develops and why it can be difficult to leave.

According to the Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (MCADSV), abusers frequently display the following characteristics:

• Uses intimidation, threats, or physical violence

• Engages in verbal abuse, insults, or humiliation

• Minimizes, denies, or justifies abusive behavior

• Struggles with substance abuse that intensifies abusive actions

• Breaks objects or strikes walls during moments of anger

• Has a history of violent or aggressive behavior

• Shifts blame onto others, including the victim

• Shows cruelty toward animals or children

• Exhibits extreme jealousy or possessiveness

• Attempts to control daily activities, decisions, or relationships

• Isolates a partner from friends, family, or support systems

• Alternates between kindness and cruelty (“Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” behavior)

• Uses force, coercion, or assault in sexual situations

• Manipulates spiritual or religious beliefs to control or shame

• Uses social, financial, or personal privilege to dominate or excuse behavior

Understanding these common characteristics can help identify abusive patterns early and reinforce the importance of safety planning and support.

If you or someone you know is experiencing these behaviors, help is available through Harbor House Domestic Violence Center.