SETTING THE STAGE

Domestic violence is not a single incident, but a pattern of behavior. Each episode of abuse builds upon previous experiences, creating an ongoing cycle that increases fear, control, and harm over time. These repeated behaviors are designed to establish and maintain power over an intimate partner.

According to the Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (MCADSV), abusers commonly use a range of control tactics to set the stage for continued abuse, including:

Isolating the Victim

Abusers often attempt to control a partner’s time and limit contact with friends, family, or others who may offer support or question the abusive behavior.

Using the Children

Children may be used as a tool for control. An abuser may threaten harm, kidnapping, or punishment of the children, or use them to manipulate and intimidate the victim into staying.

Damaging Relationships

An abuser may attempt to undermine a victim’s credibility by telling others that she is unstable, dishonest, or unreliable, weakening her support system within the community.

Attacking Property or Pets

Breaking personal belongings, damaging property, or harming pets is often used to instill fear and demonstrate power. These actions send a clear message of intimidation and control.

Stalking a Partner or Former Partner

Stalking behaviors may include following, harassing, threatening, or monitoring a partner’s movements to reinforce control and create a sense of constant surveillance.

Recognizing these tactics helps explain how abuse escalates and why leaving an abusive relationship can be complex and dangerous. Understanding these patterns is a critical step toward safety, support, and healing.